HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

Do you like chocolate? Here's a list of reasons why you should, if you don't already...

Chocolate is a vegetable: it is derived from cocoa beans. Beans are a vegetable.

Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus (to repeat my point), chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So chocolate and candy bars containing it are a health food.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you have a problem of trying to figure out how you can get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car, I have the solution for you: eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar one half hour before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, isn't that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: these are the things which defile a man -Matthew 15:17

Previous Joke | Back to the Archives | Next Joke