HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

Mr. Smith was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds," his doctor promised.

When Mr. Smith returned he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Mr. Smith nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"Why, from hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

Did you know God is giving you instructions?

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.

Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about. Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart. -Psalms 32:8