HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

An 80 year old man who went to the doctor for a check-up baffled the doctor by his good physical health.

"To what do you attribute your good health?" the doctor asked.

"I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out chasing turkeys up and down the mountains," the elderly man replied.

"Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" the doctor asked.

"Who said my dad's dead?"

"You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? the doctor asked, looking at his patient in disbelief. "How old is he?"

"He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he hunted for turkeys with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive... he's a turkey hunter."

"Well, that's great," the doctor said, "but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"

"You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?" "He's 118 yrs old," the elderly patient replied.

The doctor was quite amazed at this point. "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"

"No... Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: for length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: so shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.