HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

A nurse is writing down necessary information about a new patient, in preparation for her physical examination...

Nurse: "How old are you, Mrs. Smith?"

Patient: "None of your business."

Nurse: "But the doctor must know your age for his records."

Patient: "Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?"

Nurse: "Yes, fifty."

Patient: "All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?"

Nurse: "Zero."

Patient: "Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age."

I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only. O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works.

Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.

Thy righteousness also, O God, is very high, who hast done great things: O God, who is like unto thee! Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel.

My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed. -Psalms 71:16

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