HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

"Hey God! We don't need you anymore--we can make mankind ourselves," said three rather bold (and not so smart) scientists.

"O really?" God replied.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, why don't we hold a contest to see who can make a man faster--you or us?" queried the scientists.

"O.K." said God.

So the scientists went back to their friends and said "We are going to have a contest with God to see who can make a man faster."

Getting right to work, the first scientist went out and scooped up a big pile of dirt. At that instant a powerful bolt of lightning struck the ground near the man, making him drop the pile of dirt.

Looking up at God he said "What?"

God replied, "Get your own dirt."

Man goeth forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening. O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches. So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts.

There go the ships: there is that leviathan, whom thou hast made to play therein. These wait all upon thee; that thou mayest give them their meat in due season. That thou givest them they gather: thou openest thine hand, they are filled with good. Thou hidest thy face, they are troubled: thou takest away their breath, they die, and return to their dust.

Thou sendest forth thy spirit, they are created: and thou renewest the face of the earth. The glory of the LORD shall endure for ever: the LORD shall rejoice in his works. He looketh on the earth, and it trembleth: he toucheth the hills, and they smoke. I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD. Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, O my soul. Praise ye the LORD. -Psalms 104:23