HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES

A pastor was working late on a Saturday night at the Almighty God Tabernacle. Around 10:00 PM he decided to call his wife before he left for home.

Although the pastor let the phone ring several times, his wife didn't answer. A few moments later he tried again and she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that the phone didn't ring.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office. The caller wanted to know why the pastor had called him Saturday night. The pastor was confused.

The caller said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer."

Then the pastor remembered the incident and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he had intended to call his wife and must have dialed the wrong number.

The man said, "That's okay. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide that night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now. At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the Caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God.' I was just too afraid to answer!"

And God spake unto Moses, and said unto him, I am the LORD: and I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, by the name of God Almighty, but by my name JEHOVAH was I not known to them. And I have also established my covenant with them, to give them the land of Canaan, the land of their pilgrimage, wherein they were strangers.

And I have also heard the groaning of the children of Israel, whom the Egyptians keep in bondage; and I have remembered my covenant. Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments: and I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a God: and ye shall know that I am the LORD your God, which bringeth you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

And I will bring you in unto the land, concerning the which I did swear to give it to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob; and I will give it you for an heritage: I am the LORD. -Exodus 6:2

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